Poor old Rishi Sunak. As if all those downbeat polls weren’t bad enough, his wee suit got all soaked in the pouring rain outside Downing Street as he surprised us all by calling an election. And that odd protestor chap Steve Whatsisname blasted out Things Can Only Get Better on a really big speaker. It wasn’t a great look.
But maybe, just maybe, things can only get better for the Prime Minister. They can’t get a whole lot worse, to be fair.
The depressing thing about it all is that we’re staring into five weeks or so of unremitting horror. Not only are we going to have to watch Rishi doing his chatty, man of the people act. But we’re going to have to listen to Sir Starmer and that awful red-haired woman droning on day after day after day. We’re not sure which accent grates more.
We’re all told by the pollsters and the political pundits that it’s going to end in tears for the Tories. And maybe it will. Perhaps there’s method in Rishi’s madness. He can get the whole shooting match done and dusted by the 4th of July and have the rest of the summer to himself, the missus and the wains.
Over here in Northern Ireland, the battle between Sunak and Starmer will be of more than passing interest. But, as ever, we can’t influence the final result. Oh no, we have our very own set of candidates and our very own set of battles.
Our ballot boxes are never away wherever they store them for very long before they’re hauled out and dusted down for another Thursday of electoral action.
This time around, it could be a bit spicier than usual around these parts. Will the DUP take a bit of a spanking in the wake of the Jeffrey Donaldson allegations? Will Sinn Fein continue on an upward trajectory? Can the Ulster Unionists or SDLP produce a mini revival?
And then there are the constituency battles. Who’s going to replace Wee Jeffrey in Lagan Valley and can Sorcha Eastwood produce some FA Cup-style giant killing? Will Stephen Farry lose in North Down? Can Sinn Fein retake Foyle? And what about Robin Swann Will his personal popularity (no, we don’t understand either….) get him at seat in South Antrim?
All those questions and more will be answers in the early part of July. But, let’s face it, while they’re might be seismic change in the UK as a whole, our parochial results won’t be too much different than what they always are.
It’s hard to get too excited.