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Turning Up The Heat

Here’s a question for you. What’s the similarity between Sinn Fein and the UK Conservative Party?

Answer. They’re no strangers to scandal.

Yup, the Shinners have been taking another battering this week. Hot on the heels of the Michael McMonagle furore, one of their key figures in Belfast – a former Lord Mayor, no less – has admitted sending dodgy messages to a 17-year old party member. Oh, dear, and it couldn’t have come at a worse time.

And so, Michelle O’Neill found herself being harangued by journalists, and Mary Lou McDonald had to get up in the Dail and do her sackcloth and ashes routine, which she’s not awfully good at, to be honest. Also, if our own Irish pronounciation isn’t exactly great, she managed to pronounce Niall O Donnghaile’s name in a rich variety of different ways.

As ever, the bloodthirsty sharks we wrote about last week were quick to pounce. Michelle’s auld mate Emma Pengelly was quick out of the blocks, talking about the ‘grubbiness’ of the recent controversies. Now that’s a good word, Emma, we haven’t used that one in a while.

But – and this is important to note – Emma was quick to pour cold water on any ideas that Stormont could be under threat. “This isn’t a crisis of the institutions,” she said. “It’s a crisis within Sinn Fein. No organisation should be operating with a cloak of secrecy.”

The funny thing about politicians is that they never seem to learn. The DUP has spent plenty of time under attack from other parties. But it’s still quick to pour on the scorn when it’s someone else who’s in the proverbial dock.

Maybe Mary Lou, Michelle and all the gang in Belfast and Dublin should read Boris Johnson’s new book Unleashed, which we’re currently wading our way through. Now there’s a man who was no stranger to having to defend himself and his party in the face of assorted scandals.

He wouldn’t mind passing on a few tips to a couple of nice Irish ladies. For a reasonable fee, of course.

Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay

On a broadly similar note, Naomi Long has found herself taking a bit of media flak this week too. Not because anyone in the goody two shoes Alliance Party has done anything inappropriate, but because she’s on holiday in the Carribbean. How appalling of her.

The other parties were quick to notice that Naomi had disappeared off to the white sandy palm-fringed beaches of whatever Carribbean island she’s chosen to grace her presence with.

And the first to take a bit of a pop was – yep, you’ve guessed it – the DUP, whose Deborah Erskine chirped on about how the Justice Minister should be addressing the Assembly in person, given the rise in violence against women and girls.

The Justice Minister was unavailable to come to the house yesterday and address members on this very issue,” she said.

There’s a need for leadership and to reassure women and girls that this Executive and particularly the Department of Justice is listening and willing to respond to those concerns quickly.”

So what’s the solution. Maybe they should make it against the rules for MLAs to scoot off on holiday during term time, which after all, is a bit like how it is for school pupils and their parents. Most of them would happily book a Jet2 package to Mallorca outside of school holidays to save a few quid. But they’re not allowed to.

But, as it’s not against the rules, what’s the point in whining about it? Maybe it’s just good old-fashioned jealousy. Deborah Erskine, and others, would much rather be sipping rum punch in Antigua or St Lucia than trudging through the rain up at Stormont.

Still, who would want to be a politician?

Break For The Border

The News Letter’s coverage was positively gleeful. Kieran Donoghue, Invest NI’s Chief Executive, had just said that there is no evidence of any foreign direct investment in Northern Ireland as a result of our dual market access.

Kieran had been summoned to appear in front of Stormont’s Economy Committee, a fine body populated by economic hotshots like Mike Nesbitt, Gary Middleton, Sorcha Eastwood and Jonathan Buckley (no relation).

Having let the cat out of the bag, Kieran did his best to recover a bit of ground. He want on to talk about the relatively low level of awareness of the opportunities presented by dual market access and said that, in time, there would be FDI opportunities. But the damage, unfortunately, had been done.

Expect to hear from the TUV and some elements in the DUP who’ll have something to say on the matter. Along with the News Letter’s cast of columnists, of course.

But they’ll all miss the point. A lot of the benefits of dual market access go to existing local businesses, especially manufacturers, based here in Northern Ireland. And the days of FDI involving manufacturers have long gone. It doesn’t work like that any more.

Dual market access is a major advantage and will continue to be a major advantage. Whatever the News Letter says. Pity they wouldn’t stick to stories about Eamonn Holmes, like the Telegraph.

Y Viva Espana

Good to hear that Economy Minister Conor Murphy thinks that Navantia is the ‘right kind of company’ to be in the frame to take over Harland & Wolff.

To be honest, we’d have thought that almost any kind of company, providing it knew something about ships and had a few quid, would be the right kind. In administration for the second time in a number of years, Harland & Wolff definitely falls into the ‘beggars can’t be choosers’ category.

Or maybe Conor is a big fan of Spain and its government who, of course, are the owners of Navania, a nationalised shipbuilding group of the kind that once existed in Britain’s industrial heyday (or was it?).

Certainly, though, Navantia does seem like a good fit. They’re a major part of the three-strong consortium, including Harland & Wolff, that won the big £1.6 billion Royal Naval Auxiliary supply ship contract.

All they’ve got to do now is get the deal over the line. Easier said than done, one would imagine.

Smartarse Starmer

Has anyone else noticed that Sir Keir Starmer has become even more of an insufferable smartarse since he took over as Prime Minister? Maybe that’s what whopping majorities do to you. But maybe not. Starmer wasn’t exactly Mr. Charming, or Mr. Charisma for that matter, when he was a humble opposition type.

Nowadays, the bloody man seems to swan around with an air of someone who thinks he can do no wrong. And everyone else just seems to irritate him and remind him of his own semi-divine status.

In the House of Commons the other day, he was so blatantly condescending to poor old Rishi Sunak that we almost felt sorry for the former Prime Minister. Has he forgotten the days not so long ago when he used to ask his whiney, nasal questions to Sunak/Truss/Johnson or May and hope that he could score the odd point or two?

Rishi, for his part, isn’t really trying to score any points. He knows it’s all a bit point-less and his heart, God bless him, isn’t really in it. All he’s doing, after all, is holding the fort at Prime Minister’s Questions until either Robert Jenrick or Kemi Badenoch takes over in the Tory hotseat

And, at least in theory, the Conservative revival begins. We hope it’s Kemi, by the way. She might just put the willies up Smartarse Starmer.

Five Of The Best

Optimistic and cheery souls they might be, but it’s probably fair to say that Northern Ireland football fans are a long-suffering bunch. They haven’t had a whole lot to celebrate, especially in recent years.

You can’t live off the glory of goals by David Healy and Gerry Armstrong for ever, after all.

Then came Tuesday night, when Michael O’Neill’s very young team stuck five glorious goals past the hapless Bulgarians in front of a packed house at Windsor Park. Even for those of us who don’t follow international football to any degree, it was a joyous occasion and a wonderful result. The smile on Michael O’Neill’s face afterwards was something to behold.

Our own pledge for this season? We’re going to make a point of getting a ticket or two – if we can – and going along to a Northern Ireland game, the first time we’ll have done that for quite a few years.

Meanwhile, though, it’ll be back to what’s still called the Kingspan Stadium (….but not for much longer) on Friday night for the second of two games on successive weekends as the mighty Ulstermen get back to winning ways.

Cecilia’s Good But Barra’s Better

Never mind the so-called S.A.D (Seasonal Affective Disorder), where some people apparently get a bit down because it’s nearly winter and there shorter days are coming in. It’s quite a while, in other words, before we can talk about the quare stretch in the evenings…..

What we’re not looking forward to is the relentless weather warnings. There are far too many of the damn things.

Take earlier this week when one was issued for heavy rain – potentially causing disruption – on Tuesday night into Wednesday morning. When we ventured out on Wednesday morning, it had indeed been raining. And there were puddles here and there. But it definitely didn’t count as disruption. Cars travelled unimpeded on the roads, kids walked to school and life continued as normal.

At the time of writing, we have another one….this time for wind. That’ll probably mean that some leaves will be blown off trees and our coat will flap around if we bravely venture into the wild outdoors.

Do they not realise that it’s all having a ‘cry wolf’ effect? These days, if we see a weather warning, we tend to ignore it. And the obvious problem with that is that, when some really big stuff comes lumbering over the horizon, we’ll sitting outside in the hot tub, blissfully unaware.

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