Armagh’s marvellous victory in the All Ireland Final at Croke Park on Sunday might have been great news, and great television, for the vast majority of us. Even those of us who aren’t from Armagh, and haven’t been connected to GAA through the years.
But it was just depressing to turn on the radio on Monday and listen to the Biggest Show In The Country (or so they say…..) turning a golden sporting moment and cause for celebration into a sectarian slanging match.
It all kicked off, of course, when a couple of peelers decided to wave an Armagh flag out of their cop car, and do a few wee spins into the bargain. The driving, to be fair, wasn’t all that sensible in anyone’s book. Not when an ordinary citizen would be hauled over the coals for much the same thing.
But was a spot of celebration really a bad thing? When it comes down to the brass tacks of community relations, of course it wasn’t. In fact, it should have been roundly welcomed.
Inevitably, County Antrim’s very own anger goblin, Jim Allister, who had spent most of Sunday raging at the thought of Catholics enjoying themselves too much in that foreign land across the border, reached for the phone when he was told about the PSNI officers and their celebrations.
First, he called the Police Ombudsman to register a complaint….perhaps not his first. Then he rang The Nolan Show’s producers to offer his services on air on Monday. And, of course, they quickly accepted, as they always do. Allister, in Radio Ulster terms, is radio box office.
Once on the airwaves (again), he ranted and spat about the evils of the foreign game and how good Protestant police officers shouldn’t be lowering themselves to even think about it, let alone celebrate along with the Catholic masses. Or something along those lines.
And, of course, his own masses quickly followed his lead. One gentleman proclaimed that never again would he even call 999 if he needed the assistance of the constabulary, so grievously wounded was he by the fact that some peelers had waved an orange flag. But not that kind of orange flag. The wrong orange flag. If you understand.
It would have been comical, had it not been so sad.
Meanwhile, In West Belfast
Just wait until Mr. Allister gets to hear the latest from his new British Prime Minister.
It’s been reported that Sir Keir Starmer has told UEFA that he will push for a £310 million bailout of Casement Park to allow Northern Ireland to host matches in football’s 2028 European Championships. Quelle horreur, as they say in Ballymena.
UEFA sources told The Times that the Labour Government is keen to develop the site and have told senior figures in world football of their intentions. The PM’s Chief of Staff, Sue Gray, formerly of this parish, is reported to be a key player in all of this.
Whilst Sir Keir and Rachel Reeves aren’t going to lose any sleep over any unionist backlash from the likes of Allister or Sammy Wilson, they may still pay attention to some doubters in their own camp.
When Reeves pleads poverty and wails about a £22 billion black hole in the UK’s finances, will backbenchers baulk at a £300 million plus payout for a stadium in Northern Ireland? Some just might.
Working Government….Now There’s A Thing
Meanwhile, Rachel Reeves’ first major mission as Chancellor on Monday certainly got people talking. Among them those who reckon they can smell an old-fashioned Labour government a mile away. Tax hikes, say the critics, can’t be too far away.
They might be right, they might not be right. But the Chancellor certainly seems to be setting out a stall to shout from the rooftops that there isn’t enough money for everything. And certainly not enough to deliver on all those silly promises they made when they were trying to get the ordinary people to elect them.
Nothing new there then. That’s how elections always go. But, at least Rachel and her boss Sir Keir are actually setting out what they’re going to do and what they’re not going to do.
Contrast that with our lot. They’ve been back up and running for many months now, but there isn’t even the faintest sniff of a Programme for Government. Why? Because, let’s face it, it’s not a real government, is it?
It’s a kind of wee, pretendy one where Ministers can give the impression that they’re deeply committed to health, agriculture, the economy or whatever. They can even spend fairly piddly amounts on some projects to make it look as though they’re doing something positive. But the big issues are still kicked firmly down the road.
Big issues, for example, like the fact that there isn’t enough money and that the UK government might want to see us raising some revenue of our own, foreign concept though that may be.
And the big black clouds continue to be ignored. Up at Stormont, it’s sunny every day.
Rachel Reeves, just like all of her predecessors, will pull the poor Paddies (and Billys) out of a hole when push comes to shove. Won’t she?
C’Est La Vie
Having told everyone prepared to listen that, in the wake of the football, the golf and this years Formula One action, we weren’t going to be watching much of the Olympics, it turned out that we were wrong. We’ve been gripped by it….again.
We even sat through a fair bit of Friday night’s interminable opening ceremony which, apart from Celine Dion and Lady Gaga, seemed to involve a lot of bearded men in glitzy dresses sloshing about in the Parisian rain. Oh, and there were lots of teams on boats of various sizes, from the Yanks on a huge river boat which looked as though it was borrowed from Royal Caribbean to the poor old refugee team on a dodgy old vessel that looked as though it was about to sink. Just a bit close to the bone, we thought.
Since then, the action has been nothing short of brilliant, whether in the pool or elsewhere around the various venues. We even found ourselves gripped by cross-country BMX action, for heaven’s sake. But the archery was a bit on the dull side.
We shouldn’t introduce a sour note into such a joyous smorgasbord of sport. But it’s hard not to ignore the double standards that seem to apply. British horse rider Charlotte Dujardin found herself turfed out of the Paris Olympics, and her sporting dreams shattered, after someone sent the media a video of her over-enthusiastically whipping a horse four years ago. Funny that the video only surfaced on the eve of the Olympic Games.
But while Charlotte’s Games were well and truly over, the good old Dutch sent a team to Paris that includes a convicted child rapist in Steven Van De Velde.
Doesn’t make any sense, does it?
Brits Out, Nips Out
That nice lady who got her t*** out on the Twelfth has been at it again. Much to the puritanical horror of the Belfast Telegraph, she turned up again in the very different setting of Croke Park for the big match at the weekend. To be fair to her, she’s taking a cross-community approach.
But it seems she also filmed a naked video in the highly unusual surroundings of Campbell College in leafy East Belfast, our very own alma mater.
Now, back in our day, it was unusual to see any kind of female around the school, apart from a few wizened old hags who made up the small complement of nice, safe female teachers who would be of no interest to the young gentlemen. Men were everywhere, from the headmaster down through the teaching staff to the pupils themselves.
And we were all the better for it…..no distractions, no female fripperies. We weren’t even interested, except for at 2.15 on a Thursday afternoon when we used to gaze longingly out of French class to see the girls from the neighbouring school arriving for their hour of swimming in our pool.
Of the Twelfth flasher, we could only dream.
Whiskey In The Jar
More news on the hotel front locally this week. First up, the company behind the ambitious new 5-star Dunluce Lodge right beside Royal Portrush golf course released drone footage of the size and scale of the site.
Then, up in Derry, came news that Garvan O’Doherty has parted company with Da Vinci’s Hotel on the Culmore Road, which he opened back in 2001. It’s been taken over by Edmund and Patrick Simpson, the Donegal brothers who own Benedict’s Hotel in Belfast’s Bradbury Place as well as the Lansdowne Hotel on the city’s Antrim Road.
But it’s hard not to like the sound of what’s being planned at the historic Londonderry Arms Hotel in Carnlough on the Antrim Coast Road.
It was sold by the O’Neill family to a trio of businessmen including Darryl McNally, the man behind Limavady Whiskey, and hotelier Adrian McLaughlin, a former manager of the Merchant Hotel and Belfast and the luxury Carton House in County Kildare.
Apparently they want to make it into Ireland’s first ‘whiskey hotel’ including its very own whiskey chamber stocked with 400 bottles of the amber nectar.
What’s the best one to go with breakfast, one wonders?