Sunday, February 9, 2025
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Covid Panto Draws To A Close

So the Covid Inquiry rumbles on at the Clayton Hotel, a seemingly never-ending buffet of apologies, regrets and missing WhatsApp messages. Michael McBride wrapped up his stint at the end of last week and this week we’ve had Robin Swann, Michelle O’Neill and our former Glorious Leader, Arlene Foster.

We’ve even had plenty of straight talking. Arlene, to her credit, said that the Stormont government had got it wrong, and didn’t faff around with a whole lot of excuses. Michelle, for her part, issued a long-awaited apology for attending Bobby Storey’s funeral at the height of the first wave.

So everyone should be happy then, shouldn’t they? But no. That’s not how things work in this part of the world and with certain sections of our media. The main media outlets, BBC NI and ITV included, simply report on what’s been happening at the inquiry. And that’s how it should be, although we reckon that there isn’t a whole lot of interest amongst the general public, most of whom simply want to move on from the depressing days of Covid.

But lessons must be learnt, we’re reliably informed. Just in case another Chinese scientist does something careless after his lunch of dead bats.

So what journalists are we talking about? Big Stephen Nolan took it upon himself to keep us all under lock and key, and with our masks safely secured, during Covid. He even filmed unmasked retrobates emerging on to a filling station forecourt, for heaven’s sake.

Now he’s poring over just about every detail that emerges from the inquiry. To help him to do that, he wheels on Sam McBride from the Belfast Telegraph, a journo whose favourite word is ‘dysfunctional’ and who goes out to prove that every Stormont administration, plus the entire Civil Service, falls into that category. Not sure he wants devolved government, does Sam.

Still, at least his daily appearances help to ensure that Jim Allister and Jamie Bryson (more of whom later….) aren’t regaling us all with their pearls of wisdom.

Look, we could save the taxpayers a few million quid in legal fees by offering our version of what the Covid Inquiry will find. Here you go:-

Lots of mistakes were made by lots of different people, some of them politicians, some of them medical and scientific professionals. Some of them are sorry for their cock-ups, some of them aren’t particularly sorry. And while Northern Ireland didn’t cover itself in glory with its examplary response, plenty of other regions were exactly the same. No one saw it coming and no one knew what to do.

There you have it. Please send cheque payable to R. Buckley at Duncoviding House in Bangor, Co. Down.

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