The story of Belfast’s new Royal Maternity & Children’s Hospital would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. We’d
all laugh if it was happening somewhere else, a dodgy part of Eastern Europe, perhaps. But it’s not. It’s happening right on our doorstep. And, as a salutary tale of just how inept our civil service is, it takes some beating.
First up, the whole project isn’t just running a few weeks or months behind schedule. It’s running years behind schedule.
As a result, it’s currently expected to open its doors to patients in 2030. That’s a full 10 years behind it’s intended
opening date.
If it’s delayed much further, and that’s more likely than it is possible, some of the babies due to have been born there in its
opening year will be doing their driving tests and growing beards (in the case of the boys, at least) by the time the bloody
place is ready for action.
And, wait for it, the new hospital is currently set to come in a cool £400 million over budget. Yep, £400 million. That means that either the initial budget was set by a group of primary school children using coloured bricks, or someone in the civil service
got it spectacularly wrong.
OK, costs have risen. But rising costs – one would have imagined – would always be built into what’s commonly called a
margin for error when it comes to budgets. But this one was so far off the mark that it goes stratospherically beyond any
reasonable margin of error.
The latest issue? Apparently, they’ve discovered a high presence of bacteria in the new hospital’s water system. Not ideal in any
water system, but definitely unwelcome in a hospital, even if it is one that seems to be of the Carry On Doctor variety. Maybe Sid James discovered the problem when he was cavorting in the kitchen with Barbara Windsor.
All of this is no reflection, of course, on the medical, nursing and other professionals of the Health Service. But it doesn’t reflect well on the Department of Health, does it?
Every time public sector funding is mentioned in Northern Ireland, they’re up for the lion’s share. But, if our local Health Service was a business, it would have died a painful death a long time ago.
It needs wholesale re-invention, a revolution even. Not even more money.
Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch
But we’re not just pretty crap when it comes to health spending. Oh, no, when it comes to government around these parts, the crapness keeps on coming.
The latest example emerged up at Stormont yesterday when the Finance Committee was meeting.
One would have thought that Caoimhe Archibald’s plan to raise the cap on rates bills so that householders living in more expensive homes was a wee bit of a no brainer. A nice, easy way to raise a bit of extra revenue without annoying the ordinary people. Who’s going to listen to the squeals of protests from Cultra’s gilded driveways, after all?
But no, it seems our lot managed to cock this one up too, and it might just be something to do with party politics. Now there’s a surprise.
Here’s what happened. Caoimhe Archibald came up with the idea but apparently, like all such ideas, it’s up to First & Deputy First Ministers Michelle O’Neill and Emma Little-Pengelly to make sure it goes on to the Executive agenda. Fair enough, shouldn’t be too difficult. But, erm, they didn’t manage to do that.
And so, the revenue raising proposal has bitten the dust….at least for this year.
There’ll be sighs of relief in the bar of Royal Belfast Golf Club. But, if our devolved government can’t get a non-controversial measure like this one over the line, what chance do any real revenue raising measures stand?
It’s enough to make you weep. Unless you live in Cultra, of course.
Taxing Times
Well done to DUP leader Gavin Robinson for putting one up the PM when he met Sir Keir Starmer at Westminster on
Wednesday.
Big Gav, it is said, told the Prime Minister that the Labour Government’s Budget is “taxing Northern Ireland businesses to death”.
And he’s right. Now that the dust has completely settled on Mrs. Reeves’ Budget, the numbers look pretty appalling for quite
a number of businesses across various sectors here.
In fact, Labour’s first stab at a Budget for many years has gone down like the proverbial lead balloon. Perhaps the Chancellor asked the Department of Health here in Northern Ireland to help her with the numbers…..
Gavin, who was accompanied to the meeting by his ‘A’ Team of Carla Lockhart and Gregory Campbell, also touched on the subject of Irish Sea Borders – as he is duty bound to do – but it seems he didn’t dwell too long on it. Gone at the days, it seems, when DUP anger over the Protocol/Framework could lead to lots of foot stomping and lengthy protests.
When you’re dealing with a government which has a whopping majority and doesn’t have to face an election for quite a few years, there’s not a whole lot of point.
Oh, how they must yearn for the days when they were beloved of Tory administrations hanging by an electoral thread.
Drinking In The Dark
Many thanks to the fine folk at Lidl Northern Ireland for inviting us along to a unique drinking experience last week in Belfast city centre. Vino Sensoria, held in the premises of Belfast Exposed in Donegall Street, provided our very first experience of drinking wine in the dark.
To be fair, we’ve downed a few glasses through the years in some dimly-lit spots, but the difference this time around is that it wasn’t just dark. It was really, really dark. So dark that we had to be led gently into the room like a visually impaired pensioner. And, also to be fair, that’s not a bad description of us at the best of times. But that’s another story.
Anyway, Lidl’s very own Master of Wine (there are only 421 of them worldwide, which came as a surprise to us) Richard Bampfield was the host, guiding us all through a tasting of champagne, rosé, white and red wines. All a bit discombobulating, not to mention a real tester.
There we were thinking that we knew a thing or two about wine only to fall on our face at the second hurdle. Who’d have thought that what we’d have sworn was a nice white wine turned out to be a bloody rosé. Or so we were told……but it was competely dark. We demand a recount.
As for our hosts Lidl, they’ve confirmed pre-Christmas opening dates for two new stores in Greater Belfast as part of their latest £15 million investment into expanding and upgrading its store network across the region. West Belfast shoppers will return to Lidl’s Stewartstown Road store in West Belfast from 8am on Thursday 5 December, following a temporary closure of the store in August to facilitate works to significantly redevelop the site and expand and refurbish the store, bringing it in line with the retailer’s modern and sustainably focused ‘concept’ design. Meanwhile, residents of Carryduff will enjoy access to the town’s first Lidl Northern Ireland store – the retailer’s 43rd store in the region – when it opens at 8am on Thursday 12 December at Carryduff Shopping Centre.
Taxi For Buckley
We were fascinated to read about Belfast entrepreneur Stephen Fitzpatrick and his plan for flying taxis….electric vertical take-off and landing (eVTOL) aircraft.
It might all sound a bit pie in the sky – if you’ll excuse the pun – but it doesn’t to the financial community. Mudrick Capital, a New York-based investor and vulture fund, has just committed up to £40 million to Fitzpatrick’s Vertical Aerospace venture, which is based in Bristol.
The firm sets out to design and build zero emission, electric VTOL aircraft capable of carrying a pilot and four passengers. Just like a Skoda Superb with a yellow Fonacab sign on its roof, in other words. Except that it can fly above the traffic when the Sydenham By-Pass is closed, and it might cost a tad more than a tenner to get out to the suburbs.
We like the idea, though. As soon as Stephen and his team get the whole show up and running, we’ll be adding the flying taxi app to our phone.
Can’t help but wonder how they’re going to land outside the Duke of York, though.
Bah, Humbug
You’ll all remember last year’s viral Christmas video produced by the owners of Charlie’s Bar in Enniskillen….a heartwarming
little tale about a lonely old man and how he found company and sanctuary with a lovely pint of Guinness in front of a roaring fire
in the pub.
This year, one of Belfast’s best known bar owners has produced his own version…in his own inimitable style. John Bittles, owner of Bittles Bar on the corner of Victoria Street and Church Lane, has carved a reputation for himself and his bar based on what he doesn’t serve rather than what he does serve. He doesn’t serve soft drinks and he doesn’t serve half pints.
And that, of course, is the basis for the Christmas video. A lonely old man puts on his coat, grabs his walking stick and sets out for Belfast city centre, walking through the streets to a gentle piano version of Silent Night. Spotting Bittles’ welcoming facade, he wanders in, takes a seat and orders – horror or horrors – a Coke.
Up pops the convivial Mein Host to duly turf him out of the bar, alongside another punter who tried to come to his aid. Thrown out and barred, the pair wander up Church Lane.
Not a mistake we’re ever going to make. Can’t remember the last time we ordered a Coke in any bar, particularly not Bittles.